Wed 21 Apr 2010 12:34:40 PM UTC, original submission:
Received from Irving Rivas <axel.rivas@gmail.com> via web-translators (long message):
On the page in the address:
http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/selling.es.html
there are some errors.
1) "(Piense en «libertad de expresión», no en «barra libre»)" seems a
mistranslation. It should be "(Piense en "libertad de expresión", no en
"cerveza gratis")"
2) Another error lies in the line stating:
"Entonces, si está redistribuyendo copias de software libre, podría poner un
precio y ganar algo de dinero."
It's a mistranlsation from
"So if you are redistributing copies of free software, you might as well
charge a substantial fee and make some money."
The mistake lies in the gerund form of the verb, which in English is also
used for present continuous.
A more correct form in Spanish is:
"Por lo tanto, si redistribuye copias de software libre, podría poner un
precio y ganar algo de dinero."
3) Something else is here:
"Para poder contribuir con fondos, necesita tener un beneficios." There's an
issue with the number. "un" refers to one, and "beneficios" refers to many.
The equivalent mistake, in English, is "you need to have a profits."
The correct form would be either "necesita tener un benefcio" (you need to
make a profit) or "necesita tener beneficios" (you need to make profits).
The way I'd have translated it from the original "In order to contribute
funds, you need to have some extra." would be "Para contribuir dinero,
necesitas hacer dinero", which can also be translated in English as "to give
money, you have to make money", so it conveys the general idea, and the way
the words are organized, it makes it sticky and proverb-like, easy to
remember.
4)Also, the line translated as
"¿Perjudicará a los usuarios un precio de distribución más alto?"
could be better translated as
"¿Habrá usuarios perjudicados por un precio de distribución alto?" or, in a
shorter and more natural way, "¿Perjudicará a los usuarios un alto precio de
distribución?".
5)In the line stating
"Con el software libre, los usuarios no tienen que pagar el precio de la
distribución para poder usar el software", the word 'la' is best left out.
It's not the price of the distribution (which it currently says), but the
distribution price (which it'd say if the world 'la' wasn't there).
6)The line stating
"¿Frenará el uso de software libre un precio de distribución más alto?"
suffers from the same issue the 4th case I bring up has. A better
translation is
"¿Se frenará el uso del software libre por un precio de distribución más
alto?"
This one would sound more natural this way:
"¿Un precio de distribución más alto desalentará el uso del software libre?"
7)Any lines stating this
"Esto es verdad para software privativo; pero el software libre es
diferente."
Should change the semicolon with a comma, like this:
"Esto es verdad para software privativo, pero el software libre es
diferente."
The reason is that the word "pero" is already separating the ideas, so the
";" is an extra. Another way to translate it, which would merit the
semicolon, is:
"Esto es verdad para software privativo; el software libre es diferente."
But that works better in speech, not in writing, for the phenomenon called
"yuxtaposición" in Spanish, which is using punctuation marks for joining
different ideas within the same sentence, is better expressed through
intonation.
7)This sentence
"Con tantas formas de obtener copias, el precio del servicio de la
distribución tiene un efecto menor en la popularidad."
also has an extra 'la', in 'la distribución'. It should be:
"Con tantas formas de obtener copias, el precio del servicio de distribución
tiene un efecto menor en la popularidad."
8)In this instance:
"A largo plazo, la cantidad de gente que usa software libre es determinado
principalmente por cuanto puede hacer el software libre, y cuán fácil es
usarlo"
The word "determinado", translation for determined, is referring to "la
cantidad de gente", translation for the amount of people. In Spanish, "the
amount of people" is female, and the form "determinado" is male. So it
should be "determinada". Also, the correct translation for the verb to be in
this instance is not "es", but "está". I'd recommend it like this:
"A largo plazo, la cantidad de gente que usa software libre está determinada
principalmente por cuanto puede hacer el software libre, y cuán fácil es
usarlo"
9)The sentence
"El modo más directo de hacerlo es escribiendo el software libre o los
manuales que se necesitan. "
Is properly translated, but the expression "write software" is not used in
Spanish. The translation I'd use is:
"El modo más directo de hacerlo es desarrollar el software libre o *escribir
los manuales* necesarios." Being the underlined parts the relevants to place
the links on.
10)The expression "obteniendo fondos" sounds unnatural. "recaudando fondos"
sounds better.
11)This
"A veces, las empresas cuyas actividades traspasan los límites permitidos
por la GPL de GNU, piden permiso diciendo que «no cobrarán un precio por el
software de GNU», o algo por el estilo."
should be like this:
"A veces, las empresas cuyas actividades traspasan los límites permitidos
por la GPL de GNU piden permiso, diciendo que «no cobrarán un precio por el
software de GNU», o algo por el estilo." For a simple reason: that pair of
commas are used to signal either an explanation or, in this case, an
expansion of information. The information doesn't end in stating the
companies cross the limit allowed by the GNU GPL, but in them asking for
permission.
12)The sentence that follows the previous one, stating
"Esto no los lleva a nada."
Can be reformulated in order to convey the meaning of the original sentence,
"That won't get them anywhere with us." They way I'd do it, would be:
"Estos argumentos no tienen peso." or "Eso no llevará su petición a ningún
lado."
13)There's a mistranslation here:
"Cuando defendemos la libertad de los usuarios, no nos distraemos por
cuestiones secundarias, como cuánto se cobra por una distribución."
It should be:
"Cuando defendemos la libertad de los usuarios no nos distraemos con
cuestiones secundarias, como el precio cobrado por distribuir el software."
On another note:
1) I'd like to form part of the translation team. How can I go about doing
this?
2) If any of the proposed changes are accepted, is there any way I could get
a proof? I am trying to translate for profit in some instances, and it
becomes a tad hard to begin. I'm a very proficient English speaker and a
native Spanish speaker, but that's not good enough to land a project. If I
could get, even a reply to this mail stating which changes were accepted,
it'd be wonderful.
Thanks a lot, and have a nice time!
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